Rain Rain (Go away?)

So yesterday was a super Rainy Day here in New York. I'm taking time out from my busy work day to talk to you about Umbrella Etiquette. On rainy days its always sad because you find Umbrealls that weren't able to last the storm. Fallen soldiers if you will. You've seen them before, they look something like this:

Then I feel bad for all the soldiers with their malfunctioning weapons, like this:

But what I'm here to talk to you about is Umbrealla (ella ella A) Etiquette. When your surroundings look like this: (there are a few things that you need to do)
1) If you are walking, be aware that there others around you, you now are taking up almost 2x the space that you normally do.

2) If you're short, remember that your umbrella is at a perfect height for stabbing someone in the eye who is taller than you-say, i dont know, ME!

3) When walking on a small walkway tilt your umbrella halfway not to hit the other persons umbrella-if you equally tilt then everyone is happy and you sacrifice a little moisture for generosity, which is a good thing.

4) Don't invest in an umbrella, they are like international batons, they leave your hand as soon as they entered into it.